Just because I like your band, doesn't mean I want to fuck you. I am so tired of stigmas tied to women who are fans of going to shows. I grew up in a household that was constantly used for band practice. Unfortunately, I did not gain any of my mother’s wonderful musical genes and was left trying to figure out where I fit into the picture. I eventually found myself behind the camera, trying to capture this thing that I could never fit into. I found myself handing out flyers at local shows, doing college radio, and BOOM! Here I am still floundering to find where I fit in with camera in hand. With that being said, I am getting very disheartened with the way that I am seen through the eyes of others.
The stigmas tied to females who are passionate about music are tiring. It is most commonly assumed that a woman’s interest in music is more about her “image” than it is about the actual creative product or musical experience. That is just not true.
Do some creatives in the industry sleep with or date artists they’ve met? Of course they have! However, that doesn’t make them any less talented or a “groupie” or even a “slut.” It's so unfortunate and the double standard still exists. When this happens only the female’s professional credibility is taken away while the male's reputation remains intact. Why is it that we have coined terms like “groupie” and “fan girl” that seem to only apply primarily to women? Why is the music industry so full of double standards?
It is pretty sad that as female music fans, we must apply extra efforts to hide how excited we are to hear our favorite bands play our favorite songs because we would just be seen as a “groupie.” We often can’t openly approach a band without it being assumed that we have other motives and intentions because sexual attraction is too relevant, especially when said artist wants it to be. Imagine what music would be like if we didn’t make women jump through such demeaning hoops to prove that they belong and they are in it for the music and the experience.
As women, we are supposed to live up to these roles of being these screaming, crying, poster-kissing hot messes. When as a music scene/industry/what have you -- we should be helping to create an environment that respects women on and off stage. I mean it's great we have subgenres such as Queer punk and Riot Grrrl but there would be no need for these subgenres if we stopped fucking sexualizing everything. I go to your shows to listen to your music, to be thrown around in a pit of strangers, to watch you kick ass on stage or possibly catch you on an off night too drunk to sing your own lyrics. I am in it for the experience not because I want to tongue punch your face. The crucial need to create these safe environments, wouldn't have to exist if one already existed.
As originally posted on Shirley Sparks